I am one of the biggest advocates of getting a proper education and completing your high school. As a parent, I have tried to the best of my abilities to get my kids to do their schooling and to not only pass but, to get good grades. The key part to this, is the fact that I am doing this TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITIES. Part of it is up to my child, the teachers teaching them, the administrators managing and keeping the records of my child’s progress and the School Board to ensure that it is done according to the requirements the Ministry of Education.
Today, I realised we, all failed my daughter in some form or another.
You see, she is missing her Secondary IV History credits in order to get her diploma. I was told by the teacher, administrator and guidance that she was on the graduate list and that there were some clerical errors to fix. We made arrangements with the teacher and administrators for my daughter to be able to do the extra work to get her missing credits and do TWO history exams to be able to graduate. Yet today, I get a call saying she’s not graduating… Um, What?!
That is when I am told to call the head office and talk to the lady who can… I don’t know actually… they never really told me what she could do… only to tell her my dilemma.
The Phone Call
So I call, I tell her my problem and how no one is at the school yet to help me with sorting out this problem. How can I clear this up when the teacher and guidance are not back from their vacations yet, and the Principal/Vice-Principal that were there last year assisting my girl to get her missing credits, are no longer working at the school?
I ended up complaining about this to the lady and how my daughter and I worked hard to ensure she graduates only to come up empty with any assistance locally. I was hoping she could help me find a way to get information. Instead I get her being defensive saying everyone has a right to a vacation (which is not the issue here, I understand that.), then I get antagonized with her saying I should have known this problem was there based on the report cards we received. She was literally yelling at me on the phone and being all aggressive accusing me of not doing anything. I am not the Dali Lama, so I can certainly say that she brought some negative reactions on my part and I responded in kind.
I answered her accusations saying that there were a lot of delays in getting her report card and any information about her credits. I was left with the impression that it would be all sorted out by the administration at the school. Then in mid-July, I got my daughter’s incomplete transcripts, I was reassured that she was on the graduate list and that they would sort out the errors. Now all of a sudden, at the last possible minute they tell me she is not graduating because of her sec IV History credits missing. I basically told the lady on the phone that she had no right to talk to me like that and then blame me for the misinformation I received. My daughter and I were given many promises and my daughter jumped through many hoops in order to pass and GRADUATE.
The Parent
I can easily admit that I should have followed up more on this matter and get on paper the plan to help my daughter in this. I can easily be held accountable for this just like many other parents would be if they were in my shoes. It is only too common to hear that a student has either failed or missing credits to graduate and perhaps the parent should have followed more closely to what was going on.
However, even with my previous job working at the school in the library, I was always hearing either by chance, or the last possible minute that my child was missing class a little too often, or not handing in the work or some such thing. My presence at the school made no difference as to how much information I was getting concerning my child and their education. I think many times, thanks to my friendships with some of the teachers, that I was able to get any information at all.
I AM NOT ALONE in this. Many parents have faced the exact same problem of only finding out, sometimes too late about some problem concerning their child. WHY IS THAT? Why is it so hard for teachers or administrators to approach a parent to inform them before it becomes too big a problem?
The school and its administrators should understand that parents are limited in the knowledge of what is going on at the school with their child. It can account to the fact that our teens are not always forthcoming with information due to either their willingness to share the information or even because like us parents, do not really know what exactly is required of them.
The student
The lesson my daughter learned from this is that despite her dislike of history, it was a necessary credit for her to graduate. She is learning a hard lesson and it breaks my heart to see her hopes dashed because of all this misinformation. Both my daughter and I know full well that it requires hard work to succeed. I instilled that value in her throughout the past few years. So we were not expecting a handout but a hand up.
The teachers
The teachers have a tendency of getting a hold of parent only when there is a problem or waiting until grades are in. If they see trouble ahead with their student why can’t teachers notify parents at that point before it becomes a problem? How about telling parent about the successes of their students instead of only the failures? Positive reinforcement is a basic Psych 101 course that most teachers take when going for their Bachelors of Education. How is it that we still see the archaic attitudes of negative reinforcement instead?
The Administration - School Level and the Board
I get the impression, and I am certain I am not the only one, that administrators, especially thanks to that lady in the head office, think us parents to be all obtuse and don’t know any better. Mind you, I know this is not a fact but it is the reality of how many of us parents feel once we pass through those doors at the school. Perhaps it is because of what I mentioned before, of all that negative reinforcement. Only too often are we parents being contacted because of a problem not because of something good that happened with our child. Perhaps it is because the school takes for granted that the majority of us parents care about our child’s education but don’t have the know how to deal with the school and the school board.
Too many times I came to the school to discuss with its administrators a problem concerning my child only to be bombarded with rules and regulations or policies as to why they can’t help me. I distinctly remember interrupting once to say that it is why they are sitting at that desk doing that job and that I am here to get their help to make it work for me and my child. Why is that too much to ask?
The recurring problem I see consistently is that the only time to inform the parents about a problem is when it’s too little too late. I would have appreciated a heads up in June about my daughter’s dilemma with her missing credits, so that we could get something done to guarantee her to be sure she’d graduate.
Enough is enough
We are constantly and consistently told by the school board and the schools as to their dedication to ensure success and increase graduation rates, yet they inadvertently turn around and throw a stick in the wheels of the students that actually want to continue their education after high school.
My daughter is seventeen and already knows what she wants to do with her future. She is adamant to go to C.E.G.E.P. and then University. She wants to change the world and contribute by becoming successful and being that role model to her community. She has ambitions that I never had at that age. I’ll say it again, it breaks the heart to tell her that it’s a distinct possibility that she has to put her plans on hold because we were told otherwise and didn’t make the necessary steps like we thought we did for her to graduate. To see her face crumble with disappointment…
Ours is not the only story where plans to continue their education has been put on hold due to missing credits, told only at the last possible minute, has happened. I am sure many parents out there in the Cree Nation have their own horror story to tell. Well I started by saying my story to help encourage others to speak up. We NEED to help our kids to move forward in life as much as possible, not hold them back. They already get enough of that already! So let’s start working together for the greater good than trying to avoid blame like that lady I had the misfortune to talk to today. I am willing, Are you?